Struggling with Self-compassion?

Most of us are not kind to ourselves.

We treat our friends and family with as much compassion as we can give when they are struggling but do not treat ourselves with this same compassion.

When I’m tired or have PMS, my inner critic has a field day. All the bullshit thoughts come pouring out, and I don’t have the energy to go against these thoughts. They sound so convincing that it’s easy to believe them.

Why is it so darn hard to be self-compassionate?

Good fucking question. Let’s find out!

Where Does Our Harsh Inner Critic Come From?

The moment we come into this world, we are influenced by thousands of things around us. Parents criticize us because we are too loud and are embarrassed by our attracting too much attention. Kids in school bully you because you have the coolest clothing style, but they don’t think so.

All these harsh remarks and criticisms create new pathways in our brains, and they get reinforced the more they happen. So, by age 25, we have developed many negative pathways, and our brain is more prone to negative thoughts, low self-esteem, and limiting beliefs.

Understanding how our brains work might permit you to be more self-compassionate. After all, you can’t help it; it’s been ingrained for several years.

What you can do, though, is change your brain! Create new positive pathways by being self-compassionate.

How to Be More Self-Compassionate?

I’ve recently come across an exciting trick to be more self-compassionate.

Whenever I’m treating myself to a tirage of insults and shovelling all the shit on top of me, I imagine my younger self in my stead. I’ve even put photos of me as a 7-year-old and a 15-year-old on my wall to create a clearer picture of how I looked like when I was younger.

Instead of beating my grown-ass self up with my imaginary stick, it’s now this cute blonde-haired 7-year-old me taking the beating. And believe me when I tell you that it’s impossible to throw all that shit onto your younger self.

So instead, I imagine the current me embracing child me and giving her the biggest hug in the world. I tell her that she’s amazing and doing the best she can and that some things are just shit, but it’s not her fault; no, she’s the best, and I love her to bits!

This fucking works because you can’t treat your younger self the way you would your adult self. You just can’t. Try it for yourself next time your inner critic is too loud.